What It Takes
by Heart of a Panther
Summary: To Squirrelflight, there was no reason to continue living if Brambleclaw hated her.  What will it take for her to realize the truth?


Alright, so I felt like writing a Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw one-shot. Just to clear it up, the italics and normal print are from the point of view of two different cats. Squirrelflight is normal print, and you'll figure out who the italics is at the end.

_I couldn't believe my ears when I heard the news Dustpelt had brought. Dead. They were both dead. It seemed impossible, I felt as though I was in a dream, a horrible nightmare. This couldn't be real, they couldn't be dead. I couldn't make myself believe it, not until I saw them._

_They were carried in on Lionblaze and Graystripe, both bodies soaked with water from the lake. They were placed directly in the center of camp, all of the clan surrounding them. Everyone was too stunned to speak. Both cats hadn't been gone for more than a few hours. They'd been part of the Clan, eating, talking, just as everyone else. But now they were stiff and cold. Their eyes stared out blankly, all life gone._

_I couldn't imagine what had caused their early deaths. Part of me didn't want to know. But these two cats still had a story to tell._

Jealousy washed over me as I watched Brambleclaw and Hazeltail sharing prey beneath the Highledge like old friends. Like mates. Didn't Brambleclaw have a heart at all? It hadn't been long since we'd split, yet he was acting as though it'd been moons.

That's when it hit me, it _had_ been moons since we'd broken up. Nearly three seasons. I suddenly felt extremely defeated, Brambleclaw had given up on me and moved on a long time ago, yet I was unable to let go. I still loved him, no less then I had when we were mates. But he seemed to have forgotten I even existed, I was nothing to him. How could I continue on with my life if the one I loved despised me?

I'd been on the way to the fresh-kill pile, under the orders of my sister to eat something. The once appetizing scent that drifted from the prey was more like toadstools now. My stomach was still crying for the food I'd been depriving it of for so long, but I ignored it. I needed to start working to clear out the debris caused by the tree that had fallen into camp. Start working and stop thinking. As I headed over to the tree, Firestar leaped onto the Highledge and yowled, "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here beneath the Highledge."

No one wasn't eager to leave their shaded spots to sit in the sun, even if Firestar had something to say. This Newleaf was already becoming hot and humid. Slowly everyone settled under the Highledge. Brambleclaw climbed up to stand beside the ThunderClan leader, waiting for him to speak.

"A badger has been scented by the ShadowClan border," Firestar announced. Immediately the Clan became uneasy. Poppyfrost wrapped her tail around her kits and brought them close. Dustpelt flexed his claws as though preparing to fight.

"We'll need to assemble a patrol to chase it out," continued Firestar.

"Can I go?" I asked, noticing how small and dry my voice sounded.

Firestar opened his mouth to respond, but Brambleclaw pushed ahead of him and hissed, "No, you can't!" I flinched at Brambleclaw's tone, it was like he was driving spikes through my already damaged heart.

"Sandstorm, Lionblaze, Dustpelt, Spiderleg, and Brambleclaw." Firestar meowed, forgetting about Brambleclaw's reaction. He probably didn't want to get involved. No one thought there was any point to try and help me with Brambleclaw because they all believed he had reason to hate me.

The selected cats stepped forward from the rest of the Clan and I was left starring at my paws like an idiot. "Graystripe will show you where the badger's trail was found," Firestar pointed his tail to the gray tabby who'd found the scent."It's important we chase badger out as soon as possible, we don't want it making it's home here." He turned to the assembled patrol, "Good luck."

The cats exited the camp, fear still hanging in the air. One badger was nothing. I remembered when a whole pack of them had invaded and we chased them out. There's nothing to worry about, but trying to convince myself nothing would happen was pointless.

Firestar jumped off Highledge and padded up to me, his eyes shining with the concern.

"Squirrelflight, why don't you-"

"I'm going hunting." I cut in before he could suggest anything.

Firestar blinked, looking bewildered, "Alright, but don't be afraid to have a bite to eat yourself."

* * *

><p>I decided to go down to the lake, it was close to the ShadowClan border and if I heard anything, I could run back to get help. The sun was burning hot on my pelt, but I was cold. I was always cold now, it seemed. My legs were shaking as though they were ready to collapse underneath me. I hadn't had a good sleep in moons, nor a good meal. My stomach, which used to always roar for food, now stayed silent because I had ignored it for so long.<p>

I couldn't sleep, because I always dreamed of him, about the time when he told me he didn't love me. I couldn't stop working to eat because I'd always think of him, about the time when I told him he wasn't a father.

No, I couldn't think about Brambleclaw. I forced myself to focus on my hunting instead. I caught onto a mouse trail and followed it as the ground dipped beneath me. I jumped into the undergrowth and sniffed around, trying to pick up where the mouse was. Then I came across a more powerful scent. Badger.

I backed up away from the scent. The badger must have traveled from ShadowClan to the lake. I had to go tell the patrol. But before I could take off, a large mass of black and white ripped through the brambles. It's huge teeth snapped a whisker length from my flesh, ready to tear me to pieces. I scrambled away, pushing my muscles to the limit to get away.

The badger was able to keep up with me as I raced up to the cliff that overhung the lake. It was the only way I would be able to escape, I could never outrun it.

With the badger at my tail, I leaped over the edge of the cliff, but caught onto the rock underneath before I could plummet to the water. I hugged close to the overhang, praying to StarClan the badger would believe I'd fell.

The creature sniffed along the edge, searching for me. Then I heard it's huge paws scrap the stone as it lumbered away.

I let the breath I'd been holding without knowledge out. Now I had to get back to the top, and that wasn't going to be easy at all. I tried to push myself up, but my muscles refused to work for me. Stones broke off under me as I clawed them with my hind legs and I watched as they tumbled down and hit the lake.

The water lapped at the rocks below, calling to me. It promised an end to my suffering, a darkness that would finally bring peace to my mind. I wanted nothing more.

My muscles relaxed and I nearly sheathed my claws when I heard someone calling for me.

"Squirrelflight? Squirrelflight where are you?" The voice was desperate and full of terror. I almost didn't recognize the cat with his voice full of such emotion as he called for me.

Brambleclaw peered over the edge, seeming to be both relieved and startled at my predicament when he saw me.

"Hang on I'll help you!" He reached down to grab me but I shrank away.

"No, Brambleclaw, just leave," I begged. Brambleclaw paused, studying me with confusion.

"Can you get up yourself?"

I didn't answer. Brambleclaw took it as a no and went to try and help me again. I snapped my jaws at him, hissing in anger with my ears flat to my head, "Leave now, I don't want you here!"

Brambleclaw pulled back. I could tell from his face he was struggling to figure out what I meant. Then his eyes widened in realization.

"No, you are not doing this, Squirrelflight! You are coming with me! Come on!" Once again he tried to grab me and I tried to get away. Brambleclaw caught hold off me, but then lost his balance on the edge. I was forced down with him.

I was falling, weightless for what felt like eternity. When I hit the water, my body was crushed by the impact. Darkness surrounded me, blocking out all my senses. I couldn't breath, but I felt completely at ease. The end to my pain was coming.

But then I felt something pierce the skin of my neck and drag me away from my peace. I wanted to claw and kick whatever was taking me away, but I didn't have the energy. It pulled me through the water and dragged me onto shore.

"Squirrelflight! Squirrelflight! Answer me!"

I blinked open my eyes to see a dark tabby staring at me, fear rippling from his pelt.

"Are you okay?" Brambleclaw asked, his relief at my waking evaporated when I didn't answer.

"Don't worry, I'll get Jayfeather, " he promised.

He turned to leave but I summoned all my energy to cry, "No!"

Brambleclaw came back to my side, "It'll only take a second, I'll be back."

"Jayfeather can't help me, Brambleclaw."

Brambleclaw stared at me, then his pelt bristled with rage, "Don't say that Squirrelflight, you'll be fine!" But he didn't leave me, instead he began yowling at the top of his lungs for help, but no one answered. His calls became more and more choked when he realized that there was no way I could be saved.

I closed my eyes, but as soon as I did, Brambleclaw was in my face, "Don't leave, Squirrelflight. Don't give up on me!"

"Why should I?" I asked, "Why shouldn't I go?"

"Because I love you!" he cried. I almost didn't believe it, but I could tell from his eyes that he was telling the truth. His expression was contorted with pain and agony that I had never seen on anyone.

"I love you too, Brambleclaw." Then I realized my time was up, Brambleclaw had begun to fade from my sight. My heart began to slow and my breaths became shallow. Slowly I drifted away, Brambleclaw's cries the last thing I heard.

_Jayfeather revealed to everyone that Squirrelflight had died from hitting the lake, her weakened body unable to cope with the impact. Brambleclaw had died from a self inflicted wound. _

_I had known Brambleclaw still loved her, but I don't think any of us truly realized how hard Squirrelflight had taken it all. The entire Clan would suffer from the loss of a great warrior and it's deputy._

_But the past can not be changed. Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight now walk in StarClan among our ancestors. When I looked into the sky that night, I saw them, walking to their final resting place with their tails twined. All had been forgiven, and the prophecy that I had received all those moons ago had come true._

Whatcha think? Depressing enough? Thanks to everyone who read it all the way through!


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